her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
