I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
