Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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