What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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