And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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