Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think your dad took our porno
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