Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got inside last night via doggy door
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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