i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This gyro tastes like lonliness
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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