boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
