Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
