I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
