Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
