I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
