im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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