Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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