Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
