He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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