Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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