if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
