I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She's the barista slut.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
