suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize