If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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