Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
