Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
