walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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