hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
