So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
