Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
