hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
