Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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