Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
