Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
