I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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