Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
