The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
