i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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