I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize