dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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