rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
