don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
should my penis look like a turkey
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
