he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
