its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize