Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
