smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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