my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
