I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
