Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
