I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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