member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
