just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
