once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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