how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
