Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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