no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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