Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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