Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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