just come out here and I will go home with you...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
