There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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