Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
