Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My life is pants optional.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
