I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
