What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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