I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
